Archive | Funny

Sex is hereditary.

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you wont either.

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He who lives

He who lives by the sword, will eventually be wiped out by some bastard with a sawn off shotgun

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Love your enemies

Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards.

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History teaches us

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely when they have exhausted all other alternatives.

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The two most

The two most abundant things in the universe are Hydrogren and stupidity.

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There are two

There are two types of people–those who come into a room and say, “Well, here I am!” and those who come in and say, “Ah, there you are.”

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Never judge a

Never judge a book by its movie.

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Fatherhood is pretending

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

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The first half

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.

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When a dog

When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that is news.

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